What Does God Say About Complaining?

Scripture Reading

Philippians 2:14-16

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.

Matthew 5:4

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Devotional

Complaining is a really interesting thing that we do. It’s interesting because the lines between complaining and venting are often blurred. As we all know, when the lines get blurred, sin can easily be justified and can lead us away from Christ. Let’s take a look at a few examples of the differences in the Bible.

Complaining

The Oxford diction defines complaining as “expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.” There are many different ways that the Bible describes complaining. Sometimes it’s described as murmuring, groaning, or complaining. When we discuss complaining in this section, the context will be where complaining is displeasing to God.

In John 6, Jesus had recently fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish, he walked on water, and now he is talking to a large group of people who had witnessed or heard of the miracle of feeding the 5,000. John 6:35, 41, and 43 says:

35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. 36 But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe.

41 At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”

43 “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me.

There are a few things that stand out in the midst of this complaining. Firstly, people are complaining amongst each other even though God is right in front of them. They are not attempting to understand or asking clarification from God, they are drawing their own conclusions and rejecting truth, which is why Jesus puts a stop to it. Now this was a very clear cut example, but imagine for a minute that you’re reading the Bible or listening to a sermon and you immediately do not like what you are hearing. In fact, maybe you even get defensive or agitated by it. Instead of rejecting it immediately or dismissing it, take a moment to pray for wisdom, and then go back and understand the context of the scripture. Consider who the author was writing to, what was going on at that time, and how does that apply today. Remember that God’s Word is unchanging, so ignoring scripture we don’t like is the equivalent of the “grumbling Jews” in the above scripture.

There are many other examples of complaining where the Israelites complained all the time once taken out of Egypt and freed from slavery. They complained incessantly to Moses about how they were better off as slaves because at least they had food and water. These grumblings made not only made Moses upset, but God had to discipline his people by allowing them to wander the wilderness for forty years.

So, there are some conclusions we can make about sinful complaining.

1. Sinful complaints are made amongst ourselves

2. Sinful complaints are the equivalent of “woe is me” or rejecting God’s Word

3. Sinful complaints ignore God in the process (valuing the world or flesh over God)

4. Sinful complaints are upsetting to God

With this in mind, let’s examine what venting is.

Venting

The Oxford dictionary defines venting as “to give free expression to (a strong emotion).” In this section, when we explore venting, it is an action that is acceptable and pleasing to God. Venting is important and healthy because otherwise those things we keep bottled up just end up coming out in sinful and hurtful ways. Many people cried out their pain and frustrations where it was acceptable in God’s sight, so let’s see what makes that different from complaining. In Psalm 39:7-12, David writes:

7 “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. 8 Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools. 9 I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for you are the one who has done this. 10 Remove your scourge from me; I am overcome by the blow of your hand. 11 When you rebuke and discipline anyone for their sin, you consume their wealth like a moth— surely everyone is but a breath.

12 “Hear my prayer, Lord, listen to my cry for help; do not be deaf to my weeping. I dwell with you as a foreigner, a stranger, as all my ancestors were.

When we read the Psalm, we can see that David is crying out and venting to Lord about his feelings and God’s wrath. In Psalm 34:7-19 it reads:

17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all;

So, here we can see between these two scriptures in Psalms that there is no issue in crying out to God. He wants to heal your brokenness and pain. Similarly, there’s nothing wrong with venting to a friend as long as that venting does not cause you to sin. In fact, Ephesians 4:29 warns us of this:

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Here are some conclusions we can draw about venting:

1. Crying out to the Lord to tell him how you feel is good

2. God wants to hear from us and heal us

3. We can vent to others as long as it is really for our benefit as opposed to speaking poorly about someone, gossiping, or cursing. Remember, we are held accountable for our words and actions.

When I take a step back and think about what is complaining at the core, it’s destructive in nature. It’s usually rooted in negativity, frustration, and maybe even hate. Let’s say someone at work wronged you and now you’re really upset. After work you may call up a friend or talk to coworker about how lousy someone is and you may even feel better once your friend tells you “wow, that person does suck.” The reason you’re feeling better is not because someone else understands, it’s because you wanted to tear down someone and then spread that negative image of them to others. Whether they know that person or not isn’t relevant, it’s the spirit of which you spoke from. You went from feelings of negativity to spreading that negativity, leaving God out of picture completely.

In contrast, let’s use the same scenario, but this time you’re venting instead of complaining. In this case, you might call up your friend in Christ and generally say you’re having a hard time at work because of a coworker and ask them to pray with you for peace and wisdom. In this case, you’re not tearing anyone down or throwing shade on someone, but you just want to pray over the circumstance and your heart. In other words, you’re going from a place of negativity and transitioning your focus to God.

I know that it's very tempting and easy to want to complain. Negativity feeds on negativity, which is why people are so drawn to each other through mutual grief and pain. However, Jesus calls us to be set apart and act differently from the world. He doesn't demand perfection, he just wants progress and repentance. If any of this spoke to you, let’s take a moment and pray together.

Prayer

Father God, you are truly amazing. Thank you for loving me despite my transgressions. I pray that in the times when I am tempted to complain that you will remind me of your Word. Life can be really painful and at times it can be too much to bear. Help me to remember that I can always put my burdens at the feet of your throne and that nothing is too difficult for you. In Jesus’ name, Amen!